"I thought that as days pass, life would take its course again, that time would pass again like it used to, that the rocks, mountains, water and the sky would be again like it was, that the walls would give me the same warmness I was used with, that the storms would disappear, that the stars would stop falling just like that, without any reason, that I would have dreams and hopes again, that I would wake up smiling again and I would drink the coffee which would have its old taste, but it hurts me like hell that I have to say that my life flows upside down, time stopped, the rocks, mountains, water and the sky are not like they used to be, that the walls are cold, if I look outside, I see only storms, the stars are falling down, I can not sleep, I do not have dreams or hopes anymore, I forgot how it is to smile, and even that damned coffee does not have the taste it had when I was drinking it with you." - she wrote to her love, but then she deleted, because she did not want to make him sad.
After a week she finally got the strenght to climb the mountain. When she was there, on her place, from where the whole city could be seen, she let her tears flow. And yes, she sent the kiss he promised to Ameen, she was sure he would feel it.From that day on a deep loneliness got into her heart, a huge hole, and she felt that this would not pass easily, that it would stay and eat her whole existence minute by minute, day by day.
Of course she continued to do all the things she did before Istanbul, but it was not the same anymore. She had memories now, made of flash and blood, memories that were too strong not to let her live normally. She kept dreaming of the day when she would hold Ameen again, when he would kiss her, when they would make all their dreams come true. She knew that until all these would happen, the mountain would no longer be the great place she knew, but an empty amount of rocks, waiting to become to life again.
The first thing Ameen did when he returned home was to make a trip to Petra, the lost city. He got in the car and drove over 400 kilometers without a break. He was in the middle of the desert, in Wadi Rum, a place that is blessed and damned in the same time - he was thinking. The sand was the master there, in fact there was nothing else all around than the sand. Red...full of passion. He whispered some words and hoped that the wind would bring them on the other side of the planet, somewhere, on a mountain, where he knew his love would understand them. He did the trip exactly as Petra asked him to do. He wrote their names in the sand, and he was sure that although the wind would ruin his little piece of art, it would stay there for eternity. Then he went to a Bedouin tent and asked them to let him spend the night there. But he could not sleep. He stood at the entrance, looked at the sky at exactly 10 o`clock, as he did every night. And he felt her for a few minutes, while she was doing the same thing. Then he kept watching the stars, counting them, but there were not enough to count until the sunrise, so he just sat there and talked to Petra, told her about home, his parents, and how much he missed her, how much he wished she would be there, how his life is something else now. He knew that this place would be totally different with her beside him, that every piece of sand would mean something, something else than eternity. She would name them all, find something special in all of them and he knew that her laugh would fulfill the whole desert, making it full of life. Then he remembered their first talk, when Petra was so angry on the whole Arabic world, and the week after that specific talk, a week when he hoped that she would write again. And the first picture she sent to him...that look she had on the top of her mountain. Something was born in his soul when he saw that picture, something he kept feeling ever since, something that teenagers call butterflies in the stomach, and grown ups insanity. Maybe indeed it was a mixture of these two, but what ever it was, he did not want that to end. And the Laleli mosque...where he saw her for the first time, the way the girl fell in his arms and they both wanted time to stop... All these were running through his mind while the night was passing and the first rays of the sun showed. It was amazing, a view that overwhelmed him, and he was asking himself why he was not even interested about seeing all these places before. But he also knew the answer. Because he was not alive. Because the endless life of the empty desert meant nothing to him. But now it did. As he was watching the sunrise, he saw Petra`s face smiling to him, and he knew he did a good job.
He knew he had to go forward, to the lost city of Petra. It is a strange place, full of mysteries. A famous one, full of history known only by the great rocks and buildings made in them. Its color is pink, almost red, and it hides enigmas that could not be explained for centuries. "It is just like my Petra" - Ameen thought. "I understand now why she wants to see this place." It was extremely hot. The sun was up watching over this huge redness, and watching over this boy, who made all this way just to fulfill the wish of another person, who did the same on the top of a mountain somewhere far away, in another country, another continent, another world.
They both knew they were not alone. The connection they had made it possible to be in more places in the same time, they indeed changed their hearts. At that point that was all they could do for the other one, for that great miracle called by them US. And beyond all the sadness they had in their hearts, beyond all the tears they let to flow on their faces, beyond the great desire of being together again, there was hope that made both of them smile. To a better future, another day when they could watch the sunrise together again. And it did not matter where that could happen, they did not care anymore. Because the time was Petra and Ameen, just like the space, just like the world itself.
Niciun comentariu:
Trimiteți un comentariu