Illegal Trip

He could not believe what he was reading. It could not be possible. He was sure that something happened, he just did not want to think that was happening to them. A whole universe crushed in his soul, all that he built inside him started to fall and pieces of it hurted him like hell. The apocalypse was not in Istanbul in their last night there, but at the moment he got her letter. He got blind and crazy. He did not know what to do. He was walking on the lonely streets of Irbid all night asking the same damned question: WHY? He smoked one cigarette after the other and did something he never thought he would do. Bought a beer and drank it. He went home only in the morning. As he entered the house, there was Ummi and Iman. All he could do was to fall at their feet and cry.
The next morning he went out from the house while everybody was still sleeping. He took the bus to Amman, then Damascus, Ankara and Istanbul. It was like a pilgrimage he had to do again. He did not care about anything, he did not talk, he just looked out to nowhere. He was not thinking of anything. His mind was frozen, like his heart, like his whole existence. He did not want to call Petra, or write to her. He loved her too much not to respect her wish. He just hoped she was fine and would also find the happiness she wished him.
When he arrived to Istanbul, after two days, he remembered that his family probably called the police to announce his missing. So he called them and tell them he was alive, just needed a little time alone.
The giant city was empty. He walked on the streets like a homeless. He did not felt the rain that was falling on him, nor hunger or thirst. He stopped at the Laleli mosque, then walked down the seaside. He saw the Blue Mosque, the Bosporus, Hagia Sophia, and none of these meant anything to him anymore. Then he met the boy with the guitar. He recognized Ameen and they talked for a while.
"Mister, I know somebody who can solve everything. Maybe we should talk to him and ask if he could get you in her country."
As Ameen heard these words, he looked up to him for the first time and said:
"At least I would see the mountain... Yes, let`s go to that man."
The man was a mafiot. He wore jeans and had a lot of gold on him. He was disgusting, but Ameen saw in him only hope, the hope that he left in Irbid.
"No problem, no problem." - the man kept saying in a very bad English. "But money, much money."
Ameen gave him all the money he had without thinking.
"Tomorrow morning you to be here 7. Bus go vama and there truck. You hide and go where you want. Back Istanbul after one week. Understand?"
"Yes, I understood, thank you."
The Turkish man said something in his language, but Ameen did not even hear that. All he knew was that the next day he would go forward, and if he would be lucky enough, he would see Petra`s mountain, if not, he would end in jail. Both ways were possible, both ways were the same. He did not care. But he had to try.
The next morning he was at the Turkish man. He got on a bus with others who wanted to cross the border like he did. They were about 10. All men. Dirty, hungry, stinky. The others were full of hope, they wanted to get a chance to go to Europe, where they wanted to earn enough money to do something with their lives. They all had big plans, big dreams. Ameen told them that he did not want to talk, and lit up a cigarette. After 2 hours they were at the border. Another Turkish man was waiting for them there. He put them all in a huge wood box and locked it. They did not have enough space, they were really like sardines in the oil. The Turkish man started its travel, and with every kilometer they made, they all felt closer to a so waited brand new day. After a few hours the truck stopped. They all knew they had to stay calm and not move, not talk. It was at the Bulgarian border. The driver talked to the policeman, some employers checked a few boxes but they did not open the one where the men had been, so after a few more minutes they heard the engine of the truck again and they felt they went forward. 2 of them felt sick from the dark and all the emotions they had. But they had to stay like that. And they all did. The aim was too precious to be ruined like that.
They did not know how many hours passed again when the truck stopped. The driver opened the box and let them out.
"We arrived."
The light hurted Ameen`s eyes, he felt weak. He had nothing but a necklace on his neck. The one Petra gave him in Istanbul. And there he was in her country. The air was indeed different, the landscape too, and of course, the people. He walked on the streets of this city without even knowing where he was. Everybody was talking a strange language, and he felt that everybody was looking at him. Then he remembered that the man from Istanbul gave him a card with a phone number. He called that number and an Arab man answered. They met and Ameen told him his story. He let him sleep at his place and told him how he could get to Petra`s mountain. he told Ameen that it was almost 500 kilometers from there. But he was so determined to see the mountain that he did not care.
"Can you give me some money? I will send it back to you as soon as I arrive home."
"You have to give me something, so I can have a guarantee that I would get my money back." - the man answered.
Ameen was thinking for a while. He had nothing that he could give to him. Then he took his necklace off.
"Take the most precious thing I have. I will send you back the money because I want this necklace back no matter what."
"Deal." - said the man. "Now let`s go to see when is your train."

When the train stopped in the railway station in Petra`s city, it all seemed very familiar to him. He knew exactly where he was and which direction he should follow to get on her mountain. So he just followed his instinct and after 3 hours he was on the top of the mountain. The endless sadness that layed on his face can not be told in words. He just stood there on a rock and watched the city. It was indeed great. He knew he could live there, he was sure they would have have golden minutes, golden years. He wanted to call Petra so much, he wanted to let her know he was there, to tell her to come up and have that kiss. But he did not. He saw what he had to see, he did what he had to do.
He sent her a kiss on the wings of the wind and knew that he reached what he had to reach. There was nothing else he wanted to do. He even thought that he should go to the police station and tell them about how he got there. That way he would have been imprisoned in her country. but then he remembered the others from the truck. He praied for them, praied for Petra and got down from the mountain while the church bells were ringing.